The colours!
I’ve been fine and things are totally normal in the world.
There seems to be no escape from the miseries of the world. Even the warm temperatures moving through the province are a reminder of the failings of a greedy, corrupt, contemptuous gaggle of politicians handing over future generations to the fossil fuel industry. The USA continues to dominate the conversation, just like the TV producers responsible for the placement of the current president want. Once dormant illnesses are on the rise thanks to all those YouTube naturopaths who just ended up capitulating to eugenics. The war crimes of Israel. Sudan. Ukraine. The Iranian revolution. I have to admit, it’s all piled up so high, it seems insurmountable, and nobody wants to give anybody a break. It culminated in one of those fancy panic attacks and basically forced me off a couple social media platforms, and to excise another heavily. I’ve basically re-curated my social media back to heavy art and nudity. Some news leaks through, but it’s from sources that don’t rain blood down on you with every post. Give me facts. I’m not interested in your doomsday scenarios.
The thing is, we have more access to information than ever before. We are more connected in our disconnection through these screens than ever before. These horrors have always taken place. At least, as long as humans have been involved. Don’t misconstrue: I am not trying to diminish the current state of the world in any way. I am aware. I think it’s ok to avert your eyes from the latest post from some anonymous doomsayer throwing images of dead children around. I am aware.
After a certain amount of time absorbing the news of the world, people’s perspectives, horrors, it’s ok to break away from it. It’s ok to ask to have a break from it. It’s ok to retreat for a bit. It’s ok to turn to music, to visual art, to turn your attention to the good work of good people making their corner of the world as beautiful as they can. It’s ok to learn about the protests, the gatherings, the hope, and not keep devouring the horror. I lost the balance and with that the ability to regulate my emotions. I’m whacked out. I arrived at a point of self-pity I find so distasteful. I was going to scrap all plans for the new album I have sitting in this computer that lights my morning face. I wanted to quit everything. All I needed was a break.
So, a break it is. Pulling back from social media has been immensely helpful. As fun as I find most of it, the unavoidable was leaking in more than I thought. I can’t imagine how miserable I’d be had I not ditched Facebook so long ago. I recommitted myself to my new album because it taps into a lot of the themes of anxiety, connection and atonement that are so important on the grand scale. My songs are my very small way of contributing something positive to this world. At the end of the day, Earth will always carry on. She may spit us all out into space, but that’s her decision.
As a kid, I laid on the couch reading my dad’s WWII hardcover histories. I learned a lot from those books: the horrors humans are capable of, and the vigilance required to hold the line against further atrocities. We can say the line held, but the atrocities never stopped. Now, we know. While we do need to stop letting the worst of us lead, and stop letting all the wealth and resources funnel away from the majority of us, we can also look to what’s immediately around us. Our friends, family, our one foot in front of the other. We can create. We can gather. We can organize. We can also maybe ease up on the fucking idiotic political memes and send a letter/email to our local public servant to remind them that they serve the public, not the corporation. Sending the odd email or making a phone call to convey my disappointment and anger has helped. Having respect for the art I’ve made with my friends is bringing me back. Make ripples in the pool around you. You don’t need to wrest control of the will of the world.
It is ok to take a break. I mean, look at the view I get? How can that not make you stop and realize how beautiful everything is? We are an aspect of that beauty. That’s a connection. Hold onto that.