Photo by Mike Tindall
I had this amazing dream last night. I suppose it was really this morning, in those moments right before you wake up. The images were incredibly clear. I was seated in a concert theatre (that wasn’t an image I saw but a feeling I felt) looking down at a stage where Joni Mitchell was in concert. She wore a wide brimmed hat, but was singing in that way she does: head tilted back and slightly off to the side. I could see her face. She was luminous. I remember the lines around her eyes and mouth, and her hair falling out of that hat. But what was the most striking was how she danced. This was exaggerated even more by a kaleidoscopic poncho she wore. She spun wildly, the poncho spreading out like a disc of multicoloured light, miraculously holding her guitar and coming up to the microphone to carry on to the next verse of a song I never heard before. Other players came in and out of the visual I was being treated to, men in black suits. The dream seemed to last for as long as the performance, Joni spinning like a top, throwing off colours like fireworks. The emotions at play were thrilling, affecting. I woke up blinking, exhilarated.
Yesterday morning, I launched my third Kickstarter after two weeks of technical difficulties, not understanding the new process, images of the correct size not uploading, and then a complete false start. A final communication with support, and a rethinking of how I built the entire thing, and we are go. Two years of work on thirteen songs that built upon each other like a ladder are assembled and ready to go out into the world from my little corner. So many players this time. Friends from near and far joined me: Phil Scott. Jason Lee Scott. Jason Colvin. Jsigna. Mark Elliott Muz. Paul Schmold. Mike Tindall once again providing visuals. An extra special aspect for me is having Michael Turner, this time joined by his wife and musical partner Mandy Cousins, to produce and co-write one of these songs. When I was dipping my toe into making my first song I wrote into reality, Michael was the first musician to nod his approval, and added his talents to it. And I finally got Mandy to sing on one of my songs. Coup d’état! This is also the first time anyone aside from myself removed lyrics from the end product. And I survived!
The work everyone poured (pours! A little more playing is happening as I type this…well not EXACTLY as I type this, but you get the idea) into this album is so fantastic, and I really want it to exist as a physical thing you can hold in your hands. I can’t bear to see another piece of work get tossed into the algorithm river to be swallowed up and disappear instantly. So, I’m asking once more for help, and that is a difficult thing. I’d love to be able to do this completely on my own, but as making the thing has shown me, it’s ok, it’s safe, to reach out and ask for help. I’m not good at the capitalist end of the stick, but this is my way of engaging that without completely losing my mind. It’s still stressful, but day one proceeded much like day one of my previous campaign, and that ended successfully, so I have a hold on hope.
Hope leads me to the thing I’m learning most from my stepping into the role of musician (a title I still feel fits me like a backwards shirt, but I’m told to shut up about it, turn the shirt around, and get on with it), and that is Connection. Capital C. It is the folly of the world to turn away from connecting to each other, to harden hearts, to cement over empathy. I’m not saying to walk blindly into danger with eyes closed and go get kicked in the teeth, but, man alive, can we renovate the place a bit, get rid of the cement and plant a little garden? These notions run through the songs on the album, and have done since day one. I started to realize the themes gelling after completing album three, MEN. That was me learning to get a little empathy for the titular dudes, and to try a little understanding. FEARS was turning that judgemental camera inward. The Compassion Dial is an attempt to turn that judgemental camera off. While the whole thing is built as dark to light, I really think each song can be taken as a world of one more than I’ve ever been able to achieve before. I have more artists joining me on this work. Coincidence? You decide.
So, I go back to that dream I had. What did I glean from it? Joni, a sole figure with a gajillion colours on her poncho, spinning and spinning, the colours exploding. The other players coming in and out, almost bouncing off the energy at the centre. I feel inspired by that. It creates a feeling of hope and connection. I’m going to focus this feeling on that kickstarter of mine, because at the centre of it all is a work I believe in, and it spins like a top, like a kaleidoscope, like a dial.
For your consideration: